The Day My World Stopped

I have been debating on just how much I wanted to share in this post.

I want to tell the story from my point of view.....but I know it was different for all of us involved.

Here's mine....

Friday, December 7th started out like any other day. I had just woken up to get the Macey off to school and I received a call from Kaden. He asked me if I had any big plans for the day. I told him no and asked what was going on. He said, Michon thinks she may have another blood clot, could you watch Karver while I take her into the E.R.? Of course I said yes. I started to somewhat worry, I didn't want it to be true and was just hoping for the best. Hoping that it wouldn't be true and she'd get sent home.

They both brought Karver by and she hopped out of the car to give him a kiss and say "I love you", to which he replied " I wuv you too".

We said our goodbyes and off they went. In hindsight, I wish I would have given her a big hug. We took him inside and went about our day. I had a play date already scheduled with one of Macey's new friends. I wanted to meet her Mom before letting them go to each others houses. Joe decided he would go to Kaden and Michons to lay Karver down for a nap in his own bed, while I took the girls to the park. As the day went on I had several texts from Michon and Kaden updating me on the progress. She had an ultrasound done on the baby to make sure it was OK....she was 11 weeks at the time. It showed a healthy growing baby, she was so excited. As they got the ultrasound done on her hip/groin area, it showed a small blood clot forming. They told her that she had caught it much earlier than most people do, but they were going to keep her overnight because she was pregnant.

I know Michon thought "here we go again". It had only been a few short years since her last one.

I had sent her a few pictures of Karver throughout the day. She told me how she missed him and couldn't wait to come home. I decided that I would go in and see her the following morning because first, I had Karver and second, I knew she would be exhausted from being there all day and having nothing to eat.

I offered to take Karver home and I would stay the night with him. She insisted that she wanted to send Kaden to come and get him. She wanted his schedule to stay the same. Michon and I had made it a habit to send goofy pictures of ourselves to each other. At about 8:30 I got a goofy picture with the title "Just for you" on it. I laughed and proceeded to send one back.

''Im so bored!!!!!" she said. "I can't believe I'm in here again".

I told her I would go and get her some books from the library first thing in the morning and then I'd be in to see her. That was our plan....and it was also the last time I talked to Michon.

Fast forward to Saturday morning and I get a call first thing from Kaden. "Are you up? The hospital just called, Michon fainted this morning and they may be taking her up to ICU".

He wanted to hurry and bring Karver by so he could get in there. I told him to come, no problem. Kaden never showed up and I received a text later saying that his Mom was going to meet him there and take Karver. ( That was their original plan, so that Karver could see his Mama)

I remember just kind of pacing, wondering if I should head in or wait to hear back from him. I was nervous, but once again thought "We've been here before".

I watched as Joe fixed the girls breakfast, and then I got a call from my mom. She was crying and said "Angie, I need you to call the other kids. The hospital just called and said that Michon is in critical critical condition....we need to get there NOW!"

My heart stopped..I was in shock! I called the others, and asked Casey of he could stop by and get me. It seemed to take forever for him to get here. I was worried, but still thought we were just reliving her blood clot a few years back. She had been in the ICU then also.

Casey showed up and it seemed like it took us forever to make it there. We kind of made small talk the whole way. As we were getting on the elevators, Casey received a call. From the look on his face, I could tell it was not good. He turned a he hung up and said "that was the hospital!"

As we rounded the corner to the ICU a lady stopped us and took us to a room. As she got out her card to open it, I remember thinking this is not good! Still at that time, I had no clue at all that the news would be so bad. As we walked in, I saw Kaden, the doctor, My mom and dad, and Kaden's mom and dad. My mom looked at me and said "Michon is gone. She passed away this morning". I can honestly say, at that moment time stood still. I lost it. I couldn't imagine a world without Michon, let alone MY world without Michon.

At first I just sobbed, then I got angry. I wanted answers. I wanted to know why we had been told that it was just minor and she was supposed to be going home that night. Why she had survived such a massive clot before, but not a supposed small one? Was she scared? Was she alone?

The Doctor did his best to explain it to me. The clot had come loose and had gone into her lungs. Her heart just couldn't take it. As a last attempt to save her, they had given her the meds that would immediately kill the baby. Not only would Kaden be without her, but also the sweet baby inside of her. They did everything they could to try and save her. I remember just thinking, "What about Karver? What about that sweet little boy that NEEDS his Mama?" And then I looked at Kaden and saw the hurt in his eyes. How did this happen? Why did this happen? As I was trying to process it, Crystal arrived and it was like I was going through it all over again. Keri, Kadens mom snuck out of the room and called Joe and Corey and told them that they needed to get to the hospital. I just kept thinking I need him with me right now! Luckily, Joe's mom met him there and took the girls. As he walked in, I just kind of blurted it out..Michon passed away. I was in shock, I think we all were still in shock.

After that, we all just sat in that tiny little room. We were all grieving. It would come in waves. Just as I would get calmed down, I would start sobbing again. We were told that we were welcome to go back and see her. They had removed all of the tubes for us. I couldn't decide if I wanted to see her. I have never lost someone so close to me before and didn't know quite what to expect.

I didn't want to regret not saying goodbye, so I went back with my dad, Casey and Joe.

She looked good. She looked at peace. I pleaded with her for a minute to just come back.

At last I said goodbye and in the end, I'm glad I saw her.

From that point on, I just felt numb. We all just kind of had to go through the motions. We had to plan her funeral, it was going to be Tuesday...three days away. We all planned to meet later at their house to pick out an outfit for Michon. I dreaded going there. A place I had always associated with Michon. I also worried about seeing Karver. I wanted to just give him a big love, but I also didn't want to completely lose it in front of him. He is such a sweetheart, but so very young to be going through such a thing. We all went our separate ways with the plans to meet up in a few hours. I went home and tried to go to bed. We were all so emotionally drained.

As much as I tried to get it through my head that this was a reality, I couldn't wrap my head around it. There is just no way that Michon is not here. No way that she isn't going to walk through the door anytime now. Truth is, it still hasn't hit me.

The next few days were such a blur. We met Sunday morning at the Paddocks to plan the funeral. I had decided that I wanted to try to talk. Crystal did too. I didn't know how I would, but I wanted to try. Kaden sort of jokingly asked Joe if he couldn't whip out a casket by Tuesday. We all just blew it off and tried to eat lunch. Joe disappeared for awhile, and when he came back in he pulled me aside and told me that he was going to build Michon's casket. We needed to head to his Dad's to get it started. Mind you...this was Sunday afternoon already. 

I didn't know how it was going to get done, but he wanted to try. We ended up staying the night because Joe and his dad worked on it till around 1 in the morning, and then were going at it first thing in the morning. Kaden had said that he wanted it to be barn wood red with an antique finish.

So much heart and soul went into that casket. It was 100% Michon and I am so thankful that Terry (Joe's dad) did not hesitate for one second to jump in and help. Crystal wanted to help with the inside, so we picked out some beautiful cream satin. Only the best for Michon!

After us girls picked out and ordered Michon's flowers we headed straight back to get the insides done.

We were so blessed to have my Aunt Dendra and Aunt Debbie show up to help. We had no idea, but my Aunt Dendra had done a few caskets before. I can't thank everyone enough for all of their help. As much of a stress as it was to get it done in such little time, it really brought the family together. Kaden, Casey, Corey and Kaden's brother and Dad showed up. My mom was there and my Dad showed up later. We were all willing to put so much love into it for Michon. We all care about her so much and wanted her to have the absolute best! I know she was looking down smiling.

My Mom, Crystal and I headed down to dress Michon and meet up with Kaden's Mom and Sisters.

Getting her ready wasn't something I could do, and I know Michon understands. I'm so glad everyone else did. They guys showed up not much longer with the casket. It was beautiful!

The next morning was the viewing and the funeral. I remember feeling as though the viewing would never end. It was so nice to see so many show up to support us and also to see how loved Michon is, but we were all so drained at that point too. I felt as though I had been on a wild roller coaster the past few days. As it drew to a close, we all made our way into the chapel. It was filled to the brim. So may people there to honor such a special person.

Joe's sister Amy sang a beautiful rendition of " I know that my Redeemer lives", I tried holding myself together for my girls and just lost it. I then turned and saw tears streaming down Macey's face....she loved her Aunt Chon so much! Crystal gave her Eulogy and played a beautiful song. As it was my turn, I remember getting up and feeling like my legs were going to give out. I said a prayer and made it through. Above all, Michon knows what was in my heart and knows how much I love her. Keri then got up and gave a beautiful talk. We all spoke of Michons "spitfire" personality.

We are all going to miss it so much. There were a few songs and then Kaden surprised us all by getting up. Kaden has always been a man of few words, but blew us all away by his talk. You could feel his love for her. You could also tell how therapeutic it was for him. I don't think there was a dry eye in the house.

The burial was just as beautiful. My dad gave a wonderful prayer. It was nice to see so many faces, but hard at the same time. Thanks to all who came and showed their support.

It has only been a few weeks, but I still miss her so very much and wish she could come back. I know she is in a better place and is with her sweet baby whom I can't wait to meet someday. We will all miss her greatly. Such a sweet girl with such a big personality can never be replaced, but I'm so thankful that we get to see a piece of her live on in Karver. We love you Michon....until we meet again! I am so blessed to know that Families are Forever.